you have to create the space firstly in order to let yourself be in the space.
you never had the benefit of it being created for you – the warmth and the nurturance and the encouragement to explore and come out of your shell. so in order for you to sit down comfortably, you have to learn to make the chair to your body’s natural preference and taste. you have to know which nails to use, which materials suit you best, and what color or colors is/are most likely to give you that sense of ease. you need to learn what comfort is before you can know what comfort subjectively means to you and how it is valuable and how you can then sink into that comfort. and so it is a constant back and forth-ness between learning and knowing, and creating and being, and failing and succeeding.
it seems impossible to go ahead and create something out of nothingness but you don’t give enough credit to the truth that… the things we are born with in life never truly goes away or disappears from it being beaten out of us. they stay in hibernation and roar out sometimes when forced into deeper hibernation pass its due date, but you can always engage with the drawing out of it again – the drawing out of you again. it is a survival mechanism to hide for a while, but then the ultimate survival instinct is to override that somehow. to tip toe your way out to the sea of liberation and the grounds of fulfilling as much as you can of your potential and innate positives of your personality. the instinct to reestablish the ground underneath you as your own to run and play on is the instinct that needs to be heard above all else.
louder and louder, clearer and clearer.